Adopting in London — Kofi and Camilla's story

Hello, we're Kofi and Camilla, and this is our London adoption story. As a mixed-heritage couple, we wanted to share the journey to becoming parents. With Jigsaw's support, we turned years of heartbreak into a family — and we are so thankful.

How we got here

We met eight years ago and knew straightaway we'd found something special. Kofi grew up in London and has Ghanaian heritage. Camilla is originally from Swansea and works as a teacher; Kofi works for a consulting company. Life together was busy but full of joy — travel, diving, laughter, and a shared love of gospel music and Thai food.

We moved in together during the first Covid lockdown, because of the rules around meeting people. The enforced closeness felt right for us, and we supported each other through a strange time. Friends were telling us how strained things were in their relationships, but for some reason it brought us closer. We hadn't lived together before and we felt lucky — we had this amazing bubble while the world was going through everything else.

From the start, we dreamed of becoming parents. After trying naturally for two years with no success, we began fertility treatment. The NHS doesn't refer you for additional help until you've had two years of trying.

Over the next year we went through two rounds of IVF in the UK, then another two in Greece using donor eggs. Each attempt brought hope, and the disappointments were crushing. Camilla shouldered much of the physical side and stayed positive. Kofi found it harder. He's the eldest of four siblings and all the others had children by their thirties; not being a father felt sharper because of that. Everyone told us to have faith and to believe it would happen. But one thing never changed: how much we wanted to be parents.

The decision to look at adoption

After our final IVF cycle, we took a deep breath and thought about our future. We needed to put some distance between us and things that weren't working. We needed to close the door on this heartache. Adoption had always been in the back of our minds, but it felt like a huge step. We didn't know anyone personally who had adopted. Reading online forums felt heavy — a lot of venting, and those people had every right to vent. They were having a rough time. But we started to think that so much published sadness must mean too little success.

Then we found Jigsaw Adoption. Something clicked straight away — the warmth of the team, the fact they worked with local authorities across England. They understood the emotional rollercoaster we'd been on, and they reassured us that we weren't alone.

Beginning the process

From the first video call, we felt at ease. The team was diverse, which was important to us given our backgrounds. They explained every stage clearly. There was no pressure — just encouragement. Maybe there was pressure and we didn't feel it because we'd been putting ourselves under pressure to have children for so long.

The assessment process was thorough but had a clear purpose. Jigsaw's adopter app made everything manageable. We set aside time each week to work through tasks together. Camilla's teaching background was a real strength — she already understood the education system, knew the social workers in her own school's adopted-children network, and quickly identified a local pre-school and a primary school with good nurture groups and creative arts.

We had big conversations about life after adoption. Who would take time off work. How we'd share responsibilities. How we'd both still have time for ourselves and our interests. Camilla loves to run and it helps with stress from work — we needed to make sure we had anti-stress strategies. Having these honest conversations early on really prepared us for parenthood. You learn to work as a team rather than two people in a relationship.

There were bumps along the way. Camilla's previous marriage meant we needed a safeguarding reference from her former husband — stressful at first, and it took several weeks before the reference came back. But Jigsaw supported us through it, explaining the reasons clearly and keeping the focus professional.

Then, during Stage 2, Kofi's father passed away. It was heartbreaking, and we took time out to grieve and support his mum.

“As the eldest son in an African family, I was the head of the family and had to be strong for the others. Jigsaw gave us the space and compassion we needed before continuing at our pace.”

Getting back to it

The preparation groups were a lifeline. Meeting other adopters, learning about attachment and life story work, sharing experiences — all of it gave us strength and a sense of community. It was also an antidote to dealing with the grief and administration of the previous year. The training sessions with Pearl were a real highlight — warm, informative, and down to earth. We still talk about things we learnt in those sessions.

We set up a WhatsApp group with the others from our training group, which has been amazing. From questions about paperwork to celebrating panel days, it's become a genuine support network. We've met up socially a few times, which has helped us stay connected. There was never a sense of competition — everyone brought something different to the table. Different strengths, different relationships, different backgrounds, all with one shared goal.

Approval and matching

Panel day was nerve-wracking for both of us, but in hindsight, of course it was — it was a big day. When we heard "approved," it felt like the sun finally broke through after years of grey skies. There's a lot of grey sky in London.

Matching, we'd been told, could take a long time. In reality the process moved, but life events made the wait feel harder. Kofi's company announced redundancies in the UK. His role was eventually safe, but the stress was real, and we didn't feel we could cope with another delay.

Then came the moment we'd been waiting for: a sibling group of three children from the North East of England. From the first time we saw their profile, our hearts said yes. Even when their social worker changed mid-process and the foster carer was difficult, Jigsaw held everything together — what to pack, where to stay over, how to keep the children busy on day visits, how to work alongside a foster carer who wasn't warm towards us. All things that needed planning in detail.

Bringing them home

Introductions were gradual and thoughtful. We built trust over three weekends and then day by day over twelve days. Each day brought little touches of familiarity, and a lot of love. Bringing our children home was overwhelming and joyful and unforgettable. Jigsaw's post-adoption support was incredible — always there when we needed advice or reassurance. Some of our questions might have seemed silly, but Pearl never judged us for asking.

Life today

We're eleven months in, and we have our adoption order. Our house is full of laughter, stories, and the sound of gospel music. We've had our share of challenges, but every smile and every milestone makes it worthwhile. We still make time for Thai food nights and small moments together — because balance matters, and being together matters.

Looking back, our path wasn't the one we first imagined, but it brought us somewhere even better — a home filled with love, and so much hope for the future. Our only sadness is that the children didn't get to meet their grandpa.

“Looking back, our path wasn't the one we first imagined, but it brought us somewhere even better — a home filled with love, and so much hope for the future.”

For anyone thinking about it

If you're considering adoption, the most useful things we'd pass on: be honest with each other early, because adoption is a real conversation about how you'll live afterwards, not just a box-ticking process. Plan ahead — who takes time off, who handles what, how you'll both keep the things that make you who you are. Trust your agency, and ask about their track record before you commit. Take the preparation seriously; the training stays with you long after panel day. And don't be afraid to connect with other adopters. You're not in competition with them. Everyone brings something different.

For us, Jigsaw provided the guidance and care we needed through years that included some of the hardest moments of our lives. We are forever grateful to them.

Kofi and Camilla are based in London and worked with Jigsaw's London team. Read more about adoption in London.